Pakistan's rainbow of chaos

The PCB has dropped Babar Azam, Shaheen Afridi, and Naseem Shah. That’s like putting a cherry on top of plane crash.

That’ll fix the years and years of mismanagement, rash decisions, political interference, amateur thinking, random coaching changes, captains sacked without even leading in a game, overhauls of selection committees, decision-makers who don’t watch domestic cricket, searching for saviours, regional biases, hiring a part-time coach, wanting a local legend to do the job, wanting an overseas coach to do the job, a lack of scouting network, no general manager or high-performance thinking, trying to copy another country’s domestic setup, obsessing over everyone’s wage, loving outsiders, hating outsiders, embracing unpredictability and chaos as a play style, years without a home for international games, and letting the public know which of your players has genital warts.

But this time, this one decision—dropping your three most talented players—this will do it. All those underperforming cricketers will look at this and decide that now they have to pull up their socks. Now that they know even their best players can be dropped mid-series, all the other problems of Pakistan cricket’s clusterfuck will magically disappear.

You can see them all now at the PCB, cackling around a cauldron, knowing that they’ve finally done it. They’ve solved Pakistan cricket—all they needed to do was drop someone. Why didn’t they think of that before?

Finally, Pakistan cricket has done it. After all the mistakes and nonsense, the chaos and infighting, the shenanigans and broken promises, they’ve found the secret key to winning—dropping everyone at once.

In Pakistan cricket, Chaos is the law of nature; order was the dream of the fans.